Movie Quotes for Tyler Perry's Madea Goes To Jail

Madea: Judges got a real attitude with me, they took me to the judge
  and he said "Im sick of seeing you", I said "Im sick of seeing
  you too". He said "Dont be getting smart with me", I said "Ive
  been smart, Im just getting here". He said "Say one more thing", I
  said "Go to hell", he said "Go to jail".

Madea: Hell to the yeah!

Madea: Im Madea! Ma to the damn D-E-A!

Dr. Phil: What is wrong with you? Why do you feel the need that you
  gotta "get" somebody all the time?
Madea: Well when you gettin "got" and somebody done "got" you and
  you go "get" them, when you get em everybodys gon get got.
Dr. Phil: Yea but youre gettin the gotters when they didnt do
  anything to even get you.
Madea: Yea but if the gotters get me Im gonna get my glock.

Madea: He had to make it drizzle cause he couldnt make it rain.

Madea: [to Mr. Brown] God dont like you... He grew you in a petri
  dish!

Madea: Youre in here going on about what your daddy did to you. Your
  daddy is out there enjoying his life while youre in prison. Youre
  here because of what YOU did.

Madea: Cora do me a favor.
Cora: What?
Madea: Put the shut, to the up. Okay? Shut to the up.

Toni: Hey Katie, I mean hello Mama.
Katie: Mama? Whatve you been doing to my daughter?
Madea: Ive been tearing that ass up. You know, I dont know whats
  wrong with folks, aint anything wrong with these kids, they just
  need some love and support and discipline. I see people taking in
  foster kids just to get money off of them, you need to watch how
  you treat these kids. I dont know who Im talking to, but theres
  a lady in this section somewhere, watch how you treat them.

Katie: You know some people just take foster children in to get money
  from the state.
Madea: They pay you?
Katie: Mm-hmm.
Madea: [considers it] No, no, the only thing that money would be good
  for is bail.

Madea: [to Sonny] I told your mama to let you ride the little bus,
  she said he dont belong on the little bus I said well tell him
  its a SUV, he needs to be on the little bus. I went over there one
  day and he came to the door wearing a helmet, a diaper, cowboy
  boots, eating Capn Crunch out of a bowl with no milk.
Ella: How old was he?
Madea: 28.

Madea: [to Toni] Im gonna set you back a few years, I used to play
  this game with Cora, more parents need to play this game with their
  kids. Young kids acting the hell out of control... [empties her bag
  of belts] Were gonna play a game called tear that ass up!

Madea: It dont matter what people call you. It only matters what you
  answer to.

Madea: Okay Toni, this is your problem... Madea told Toni to go
  upstairs... 13 stairs... and call 10 digits to get some help with
  her homework. Toni said she aint doin it, set back on the couch,
  folded 2 of her arms and rolled 2 of her eyes. Madea grabbed Toni
  by 2 of her ankles, dragged her upstairs, hitting her head on every
  step. How many bruises will little Toni have by the time she gets
  to the emergency room at Grady Hospital?

Madea: I knew a woman who was married to a man for 38 years, she
  cheated on him for 42 years, and he died thinking he was the only
  one.

Madea: [about how sweet T.T. is] Whatre you in here for, stealing
  flowers? Whatd you do, steal candy from the girl scouts?
T.T.: I murdered 18 men.

Big Sal: Just shut up & let her talk!
Madea: Thank you, Biggie Smalls!

Madea: [car behind her is honking] I dont know what you blowing at
  me for but keep blowing.

Cora: Im having some me time.
Madea: Did I ask you for some me time? Did I ever ask you for
  anything? I never asked you for nothing!

Candace Washington: What you gonna do? Beat me with your Bible every
  five minutes like my Grandma did?
Tanya: First of all I dont know your Grandma, and second of all I
  dont carry a Bible, its at home on my mantel.
Donna: Dont need to carry it when you know every word of it.
Tanya: You should know it.

Nate: Wheres the baby?
Vanessa: In the tub, its empty... now lets go back to bed.
Nate: Vanessa!
Vanessa: What?
Nate: I hear water running!
Vanessa: What?
[runs to the bathroom]
Vanessa: Oh my God! Somebody call 911!

Madea: If you dont back the hell up off me, Ima beat you like the
  dude you look like!

Pete: Katie, you know Toni, that daughter of ours, shes been filling
  out really nice, and she only lives 2 blocks from me.
Madea: Not anymore, she done moved.

Madea: Who I am is conflicting with this dress I have on.

Chico: Where is my meal?
Madea: I know you cant read but that sign say "Do not feed the
  monkeys".