Movie Quotes for Road+House

Chubby DAcosta: You know why they call me The Robot?
Chubby DAcosta: Because Im so automatic at kickin your ass.

Dalton: People who really want to have a good time wont come to a
  slaughterhouse. And weve got entirely too many troublemakers here.
  Too many 40-year-old adolescents, felons, power drinkers and
  trustees of modern chemistry.

Wade Garrett: That gals got entirely too many brains to have an ass
  like that.

Wade Garrett: You got a skinny little runt named Dalton working here?

[first lines]
Bouncer Checking IDs: [to Frank Tilghman, as he enters the Bandstand]
  Go ahead, sir.

[last lines]
Tinker: A polar bear fell on me.

Frank Tilghman: Its a good night. Nobody died.
Dalton: Itll get worse before it gets better.

Morgan: [after socking a bar patron in the stomach and throwing him
  across the room into a table full of customers] Get him outta here,
  now! [Points a finger in Daltons face] If youre not drinking,
  youre outta here!

Wade Garrett: That girl has way too many brains to have an ass like
  that.

Dalton: My way... or the highway.

Morgan: What am I supposed to do?
Dalton: Theres always barber college.

Emmett: Calling me sir is like putting an elevator in an outhouse. It
  dont belong.

[Dalton walks in on Steve having sex with a girl in the supply
  closet]
Dalton: Yo, Steve! Youre history.
Steve: But Im on my break!
Dalton: Stay on it.
Steve: Ah, shit!

Dalton: All you have to do is follow three simple rules. One, never
  underestimate your opponent. Expect the unexpected. Two, take it
  outside. Never start anything inside the bar unless its absolutely
  necessary. And three, be nice.

Bar guy: Whaddaya say we get nipple to nipple?
Denise: [eying her own ample cleavage] I can do that without you!

Dalton: I want you to be nice until its time to not be nice.

Dalton: So, you play pretty good for a blind white boy.
Cody, Band Singer at Double Deuce: Yeah, and I thought youd be
  bigger.

Emmett: I swear he does that just to piss me off!
Dalton: Who does?
Emmett: Brad Wesley!

Emmett: It aint the money ya understand, but if I dont charge ya
  somethin the Presbyterians around here are likely to pray for my
  ruination. How does a hundred dollars a month strike ya?
Dalton: Fine.
Emmett: Can ya afford that much?
Dalton: If it keeps you in the good graces of the church.
Emmett: Aint it peculiar how money seems to do that very thing?

Doc: Do you always carry your medical record around with you?
Dalton: Saves time.

Wade Garrett: This place has a sign hangin over the urinal that
  says, "Dont eat the big white mint".

Jimmy: I used to fuck guys like you in prison.

Dalton: Nobody ever wants to fight.

Doc: Is this the part where you tell me what a great guy your friend
  is?
Wade Garrett: Not hardly. This is the part where I tell you I want
  you for myself.
Doc: [laughs]
Dalton: Oh, yo. Whatever hes saying, you can be fairly sure its a
  lie.
Wade Garrett: [giving Dalton a look and her a longer look] Dont bet
  on it.

Red Webster: How long are you gonna be in town?
Dalton: Not very long.
Red Webster: Thats what I said 25 years ago.
Dalton: Really? What happened?
Red Webster: I got married to an ugly woman. Dont ever do that. It
  just takes the energy right out of you. She left me, though. Found
  somebody even uglier than she was. Thats life. Who can explain it?