Movie Quotes for Naked+Gun:+From+The+Files+Of+Police+Squad!,+The

Frank: A good cop - needlessly cut down by some cowardly hoodlums.
Ed: Thats no way for a man to die.
Frank: No... youre right, Ed. A parachute not opening... thats a
  way to die. Getting caught in the gears of a combine... having your
  nuts bit off by a Laplander, thats the way I wanna go!
Wilma Nordberg: [cries] Oh... Frank. This is terrible!
Ed: Dont you worry, Wilma. Your husband is going to be alright.
  Dont you worry about anything. Just think positive. Never let a
  doubt enter your mind.
Frank: Hes right, Wilma. But I wouldnt wait until the last minute
  to fill out those organ donor cards.
[Wilma cries again]
Ed: What Im trying to say is that, Wilma, as soon as Nordberg is
  better, hes welcome back at Police Squad.
Frank: ...Unless hes a drooling vegetable. But I think thats only
  common sense.
[Wilma cries again]

Frank: Protecting the Queens safety is a task that is gladly
  accepted by Police Squad. No matter how silly the idea of having a
  queen might be to us, as Americans, we must be gracious and
  considerate hosts.

[Frank has beaten a horde of Americas most-feared world leaders in a
  conference room and heads for a door]
Muammar al-Qaddafi: Hey, who are you?
Frank: Im Lt. Frank Drebin! Police Squad! And dont ever let me
  catch you guys in America!
[the door hits Frank in the face and he loses his balance]

[in the midst of a fight in a Conference room, Frank wipes off
  Mikhail Gorbachevs birthmark. Frank looks at us]
Frank: I knew it!
[Frank throws Gorbachev through a wall]

[Frank knocks on the door of Enrico Pallazzos room. Enrico opened
  the door]
Enrico Pallazzo: Yes?
Frank: Mr. Pallazzo?
Enrico Pallazzo: Si?
Frank: Im the head usher.
Enrico Pallazzo: Ah!
Frank: Im here to tell you... Excuse me.
[Enrico turns around and Frank struck his back]
Enrico Pallazzo: Uggh!
[Frank temporarily knocks out Enrico and closes the door as he takes
  Enrico into the room. Then, the stadium head usher arrives and
  knocks on the door where Frank took Enrico into]
Stadium Head Usher: Mr. Pallazzo?
Frank: [opens the door] Yes?
Stadium Head Usher: Im the head usher.
Frank: One second.

Mayor: Now Drebin, I dont want any trouble like you had on the South
  Side last year, thats my policy.
Frank: Well, when I see five weirdos, dressed in togas, stabbing a
  man in the middle of the park in full view of a hundred people, I
  shoot the bastards, thats *my* policy!
Mayor: That was a Shakespeare-In-The-Park production of Julius
  Caesar, you moron! You killed five actors! Good ones!

Frank: [sings] Oh say can you see / By the dawns early light / What
  so proudly we hail / In the twilights last gleaming? / Whose
  bright stripes and broad stars / In the perilous night / For the
  ramparts we watched / uh, da-da-da-da-da-daaaa. / And the rockets
  red glare / Lots of bombs in the air / Gave proof to the night /
  That we still had our flag. / Oh say does that flag banner wave /
  Over a-a-all thats free / And the home of the land / And the land
  of the - FREE!

Ed: You want to take a dinghy?
Frank: No, I took care of that at the press conference.

Frank: Its a topsy-turvy world, and maybe the problems of two people
  dont amount to a hill of beans. But this is our hill. And these
  are our beans!

Thug: Drebin?
Frank: Yeah!
Thug: I got a message for you from Vincent Ludwig!
[Shoots gun at Drebin]
Thug: Take this, you son of a bitch!
Frank: I cant hear you! Dont fire the gun while youre talking!

[Frank recalls a prior love]
Frank: Id known her for years. We used to go to all the police
  functions together. Ah, how I loved her, but she had her music. I
  think she had her music. Shed hang out with the Chicago Male
  Chorus and Symphony. I dont recall her playing an instrument or
  being able to carry a tune. Yet she was on the road 300 days of the
  year. In fact, I bought her a harp for Christmas. She asked me what
  it was.

[Frank Drebin walks through town]
Frank: [narrating] The attempt on Nordbergs life left me shaken and
  disturbed, and all the questions kept coming up over and over
  again, like bubbles in a case of club soda. Who was this character
  in the hospital? And why was he trying to kill Nordberg? And for
  whom? Did Ludwig lie to me? I didnt have any proof, but somehow, I
  didnt entirely trust him either. Why was the I Luv You not
  listed in Ludwigs records? And if it was, did he know about it?
  And if he didnt, who did? And where the hell was I?

Driving instructor: Its okay. Normally you would not be going
  sixty-five down the wrong way of a one-way street.

[Frank grabs a baseball bat and gets one of the umpires attention]
Frank: Oh, excuse me. Could you tell me... is this an official bat?
[Frank strikes the umpires head with the bat knocking him out]

Jane: Ive heard police work is dangerous.
Frank: It is. Thats why I carry a big gun.
Jane: Arent you afraid it might go off accidentally?
Frank: I used to have that problem.
Jane: What did you do about it?
Frank: I just think about baseball.

Ludwig: So they were able to get him to the hospital in time?
Frank: Yes, hes in the intensive care ward at Our Lady of the
  Worthless Miracle.

[Frank Drebin is emptying out his files after being kicked off the
  force]
Frank: Hey! The missing evidence in the Kelner case! My God, he
  really was innocent!
Ed: He went to the chair two years ago, Frank.
Frank: Well, uh...
[Frank Drebin quickly shoves the evidence back into the file cabinet]

Ed: Doctors say that Nordberg has a 50/50 chance of living, though
  theres only a 10 percent chance of that.

Frank: Its true what they say: Cops and women dont mix. Its like
  eating a spoonful of Drano; sure, itll clean you out, but itll
  leave you hollow inside.

Ed: [regarding the Press] Frank, theyre not here for you. "Weird Al"
  Yankovic is on the plane.

Ed: [after Ludwig has been hit with a poison Dart, fallen off a
  building, run over by a car and a steam roller and trampled by a
  marching band] Oh, Frank! Its horrible. Its so horrible!
Frank: [comforts Ed] I know...
Ed: My father went the same way...

[offering a cigar]
Vincent Ludwig: Cuban?
Frank: No, Dutch-Irish. My father was from Wales.

Ed: A hunch wont stand up in court, Frank. What we need are hard
  facts.
Frank: Look, Ed. Ludwig was the only one besides us who knew Nordberg
  was still alive. Next thing you know, some thug tries to knock him
  off in the hospital.
Ed: Yeah, but going into Ludwigs office without a warrant, youre
  taking a big chance.
Frank: I know. You take a chance getting up in the morning, crossing
  the street or sticking your face in a fan.

Frank: Interesting... almost as interesting as the photographs I saw
  today.
Jane: I was young! I needed the work!

Frank: Its the same old story. Boy finds girl, boy loses girl, girl
  finds boy, boy forgets girl, boy remembers girl, girls dies in a
  tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Years Day.
Jane: Goodyear?
Frank: No, the worst.