Movie Quotes for Man+Friday

Trent: Hey, Lawrence, how about a little help?
Lawrence: Dude, thats not a good look for you, man. You ask the one
  black guy to pump the gas for you? Shit.
Trent: Okay. Nolan. How about I pay, you pump?
Nolan: Sure, man. Hey, I give a wicked blow job too.
Trent: Okay, well, um, well try that out later.

Tyra Collette: Act like a man then!
Landry Clarke: You mean act like a man.
Tyra Collette: Yeah.
Landry Clarke: Thats real easy for you to say because youre not the
  one who killed him, are you. You dont have to think about that,
  you dont have to close your eyes and hear the sound of his skull
  cracking every time you go to sleep, do you. Dont tell me to act
  like a man. Cause you know what, the thing about this is I would
  do that again for you in a second because he hurt you and because
  Im in love with you, all right. And dont - dont look at me like
  that, okay. Dont, because you know, youve known forever, its not
  some big secret, all right. Lets just, lets not pretend this is
  some great thing that we did and dont - dont tell me to become a
  man, all right? Because if thats your definition of a man then
  thats extremely sad.

Mike Winchell: Hey Boobie, you didnt lift.
Boobie Miles: Cmon man. This is god given. The only thing I gotta do
  is show up.

Brian Chavez: We will win State.
Don Billingsley: Chavez, youre like a human pi"ata. You get your ass
  all beat more than anybody I know, and you just sit there and spit
  out candy.
Mike Winchell: Thats because hes out of here. Hes got the grades.
  And no matter what we win or loose he knows hes getting out. Hes
  got one foot out the door, man.
Brian Chavez: Give me the gun.
Don Billingsley: [making fun of Chavez] Youre going to be drinking
  martinis, eating lamb chops, getting manicures...
Brian Chavez: Youre just jealous.
Don Billingsley: ...removing your freakin shoes.

Mike Winchell: [Deleted Scene] Did you think is was going to be this
  big?
Brian Chavez: Yeah.
Mike Winchell: Bullsh*t man.
Brian Chavez: I do.
Mike Winchell: You act like that. You think its just a game.
  Something to check off on your list. Know what I think?
Brian Chavez: Whats that?
Mike Winchell: I think youre scared just like the rest of us. But I
  think youre smart enough to see that one day when you look back
  from whatever big job or big house, or whatever it is that you got,
  that when you look back at this time, I dare you to beat it. I dare
  you.
Brian Chavez: Its just a game.
Don Billingsley: It doesnt feel like just a game to me.
Brian Chavez: So whats it feel like?
Don Billingsley: Feels like... feels like were going to war.

Tess: Hello, Dr. Coleman. Yes, Elizabeth. Yes, Elizabeth, Ill be at
  the appointment tomorrow. Ok, good. And Elizabeth, remember, you
  are a smart, strong, beautiful, independent woman and you dont
  need a man to complete you.
Butcher Woman: Thank you.
Tess: Goodbye.

Grandpa: [about Anna] Stop groveling, man. Let her come to YOU.
Ryan: Shed come with a hatchet.

Mr. Bates: [to a student] Mr. Waters, describe the character of
  Hamlet.
Mr. Waters: Hamlet. Hes, uh... hes one of the big characters. I
  mean, hes Hamlet. Hes just... bopping around... doesnt know
  which ways up. I dont think the guys got a clue.
Mr. Bates: You mean to say that he is a man...
Mr. Waters: Yeah.
Mr. Bates: Who couldnt make up his... mind.
Mr. Waters: ...mind. Exactly.

Bad Boy #1: Man he dont look like no reindeer, he look like a pit
  bull. Giddy up pit bull.
Uncle Elroy: You better stop jumpin up and down before I have to
  bite you or something.
Bad Boy #1: Can you lock your jaws and shake like a pit bull.
Uncle Elroy: Yeah, want me to show you?

Old man w/ shotgun: Next time Im gonna shoot at the one that winks
  and not the one that stinks.

Damon: Craig and Day-Day.
Day-Day: Ohh...
Damon: Just the niggas I need to see.
Craig Jones: Yo, yo... whats up O.G. Triple O.G... O.G. triple...
  triple O.G.?
Day-Day: You got out last night?
Damon: I havent seen yall in about 12 years, nigga.
Day-Day: I know, I was little...
Damon: Youre grown up now, though. Give a nigga a hug, dog.
Day-Day: Im about to go... [Craig grabs Day-Day and runs him into
  Damon]
Damon: [Damnon grabs Day-Day] Yeah, man. Its cool, dog. Its cool.
  Come here. Yeah, right there.
Damon: [Damon looks at Craig] Group hug, nigga!
Day-Day: Come on, Craig! [Craig walks to Damon]
Craig Jones: Whats up, dog.
Damon: Whats up, nigga.
Damon: Its good to be home. Cause in prison dog, hey... aint
  nothing but fellows up in there.

Old man w/ shotgun: Come on out there! I know youre in here!
Old man w/ shotgun: Respect my gangster!

Day-Day: Man, What about the fine ass hos I had coming here.
Day-Day: They said they were gonna fuck for a buck, do something
  strange for a little piece of change, and I know were gonna make
  them Holler for a doller.
Day-Day: One of em said theyd suck my dick from the back. I aint
  never had that, ever happen to me, Im trying to see what that be
  like. Badaba badaba ba.

Nurse: Sex can be a beautiful, sensual experience between a man and a
  woman who truly love each other and want to spend eternity together
  laying in each others gentle embrace. Or it can be a dirty, filthy
  spank-fest in a bus station restroom shared by two anonymous
  consenting adults on a layover in Detroit and no one ever need
  know!

Pinky: Cmon, Young Blood. Dont kill me, man. I got a mothafuckin
  girlfriend. I got a wife on the side.

Day-Day: Roach, if Pinky catches you doing that X-Games shit on the
  counter, we gon be fired!
African: [walking in store] Hey, motherfuckers. You motherfuckers!
  What the fuck is this? You motherfuckers!
Day-Day: Can I help you, sir?
African: What the fuck is this? Huh? This is wack! I cant get jiggy
  with this shit! Wheres your damn manager, that pink motherfucker?
Day-Day: Hes not in the store right now. Im in charge.
African: You look like the player-hater who sold me this shit. Give
  me back my damn money, and I dont have no damn receipt.
Day-Day: Do you have the case, sir?
African: I dont have no goddamn case! Kiss my ass, so what?
Day-Day: Can I see it sir? [looks at CD] What, were you chewing on
  this before you got here?
African: Bullshit, motherfucker! Do you know who you are fucking
  with?
Day-Day: Bishop Desmond Tutu?
African: Try again, motherfucker!
Day-Day: Winnie Mandelas lil...
African: Try *again*, motherfucker!
Day-Day: Just an ugly ass black dude.
African: Ill go *postal* in this motherfucker!
Day-Day: Man, you better take your hostile black ass outta here!
African: [knocks down CD stand as Craig walks in] Ol biatch...
  [Craig shoves him into CD rack] Oh, shit! Please, dont hurt me!
  Please! Thiss John Blaze; I can get jiggy with this!
Craig: Get your ass up outta here!
African: Im just a bitch-ass nigga!

Mr. Jones: Hey, young man! You got knocked the fuck out!

Day-Day: Man, look at them tig o bitties

Tyrone: [Deebo wants Tyrone to call the Food Stand Cashier and tell
  him to tell Mr. Jones that Craig is "in trouble"] Hello? I have an
  urgent message for a nigga named Mr. Willy Jones...
Food Stand Cashier: Nigga who?
Tyrone: [Deebo slaps Tyrone over the head] Ow, I mean, I have an
  urgent message for a Mr. William Jones.
Food Stand Cashier: Urgent message?
Tyrone: Yeah, tell him, "Craigs in trouble, come quick."
Food Stand Cashier: Craig who? Who is this?
Tyrone: Tell him you could just... [begins to sing] call on Tyrone...
Tyrone: [Deebo slaps him over the head again] Ow! Tell him its a
  friend of the family!
Tyrone: [Tyrone hangs up] Man, you better stop hittin me like. Ill
  bust your ass just like Craig did. Knock your eye straight.

Deebo: Here come that dog truck. Shut your mouth! We about to fade to
  black.
Craig Jones: [as Craig notices Deebo standing in front of the truck]
  Daddy, Stop!
[Mr. Jones Screams]
Deebo: Get your punk-ass out of the car Craig, this is the re-match!
Deebo: Get out of the car!
Craig Jones: Punch It!
Tyrone: [as Mr. Jones drives away] Deebo! Help!
Craig Jones: Fake-Ass Suge Knight!
Deebo: [yelling out before kicking his brother in the stomach] You
  know I gonna find you and when I do, Im gonna put my foot up in
  your ass!
[Looking down at his brother]
Deebo: Man get up!
Tyrone: Damn! Man, Im tired. Im goin to mommys house.
Deebo: [pulling him by the chain on his leg] Come on!
Tyrone: [Yelling at Deebo] No!, No!
Mr. Jones: [on the way to Rancho Cucamonga] Did you see That! Those
  two niggas were acting like pit bull dogs!

Martina: All right, listen. There are certain rules that you have to
  follow in a parody situation if you want to survive. Rule number
  one: exaggerate everything. Number 88: accept the ridiculous as
  logical.
[flash to Boner getting down with a girl]
Martina: Sexual sight gags, always funny.
[Boner making sex noises while pulling out a splinter]
Martina: And along with wacky sound effects...
[Boner unzipping his pants with a "boing!" sound]
Martina: And unlimited absurdity.
[Killer frightens Boner into a heart attack with a chainsaw]
Martina: Remember: nothing is sacred.
[cross falls onto bed]
Dawson: Youre forgetting, point out the obvious.
[holds up a "dead man" sign pointing to Slab]
Martina: And finally, perpetually painful stereotypes.
Pimp: Dats ridikkulous!

Host: Finish this sentence! Adam, U2s new album sounds like...
Adam Clayton: Garbage? [everyone laughs, including the crew. Bono is
  upset]
Host: You shouldnt have said that, man.
Bono: Its his album! Thats the sad... Can I just say something?
  You... thats... sad! Thats sad! Cause youre on it on this one!
  You go and trash the one record where youre really happening!
  OK...

Smokey: Weed is from the earth. God put this here for me and you.
  Take advantage man, take advantage.

Craig Jones: What Im trippin on, is how you gonna sell bud, when you
  smoke it?
Smokey: I dont know. Thats my only problem.
Craig Jones: Big Worm gonna fuck you up.
Smokey: Big Worm aint gonna do a goddamn thing, man.
Craig Jones: All right...

Smokey: Older the berry, the sweeter the juice.
Craig Jones: Man, its the blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice.
Smokey: Yeah, well she blacker than a motherfucker too.