Movie Quotes for Keeping+On

Emperor Zombie: Youre no fun! Piggy little professor keeping Gungs
  secrets all to himself!

Gloria Goodfellow: Petey? Petey? Walter?
Reverend Walter Goodfellow: Ah, Gloria. This is Bob and Ted from the
  waterboard, were just discussing the...
Gloria Goodfellow: Walter, wheres Petey?
Reverend Walter Goodfellow: Oh Lord! Mrs Calloway called about her
  crisis of faith. She was on the verge of losing it.
Gloria Goodfellow: I know the bloody feeling.

Gloria Goodfellow: This cannot go on mother, Ive had enough.
Grace Hawkins: I understand youre upset.
Gloria Goodfellow: Too bloody right Im upset, Ive got two dead
  bodies. One in the pond and one in the sitting room.
Grace Hawkins: No, youve got three dead bodies in the pond because
  youre forgetting...
Gloria Goodfellow: Grace, this has gone far enough. And I mean it.

Bob: [discussing the problem of the pond] So theres really just the
  one option.
Reverend Walter Goodfellow: Yes, theres, um, just the one option.
Gloria Goodfellow: Which is?
Bob: Drain it.
Gloria Goodfellow: Drain it. [pauses] Shall I put the kettle on?

Gloria Goodfellow: Now, let me get this straight. My son is rid of
  his bullies, my husband has become a comedian and my nymphomaniac
  daughter has discovered cookery.
[looks up and whispers]
Gloria Goodfellow: Whats going on?

Gloria Goodfellow: You cant just go round killing people just
  because you dont approve of them!
Grace Hawkins: You know, thats what my doctors used to say. It was
  the one point we could never agree on.

Grace Hawkins: [on meeting Grant the Goth] Oh, is it Halloween?

Gloria Goodfellow: I wonder if hes found that dog yet.
Grace Hawkins: Oh, Mr Browns on holiday.
Gloria Goodfellow: Oh? Where?
Grace Hawkins: I think he said down under.

Holly Goodfellow: The Devils in the details, Dad.
Reverend Walter Goodfellow: Could we not say that word on a Sunday?
Holly Goodfellow: What? Dad?

Robin Williams: And people ask "Why are we dropping Pop-Tarts and
  Peanut butter on Afghanistan?" Number 1: tastes a shit-load better
  than dirt. Number 2: it is very difficult to make a call to Gihad
  with a mouth full of peanut butter. Secondly, or thirdly, for those
  of you keeping track; Afghanistan is a Hashish smoking culture. And
  anyone whos ever been a friend of the Hooklah is going
  *Pop-Tarts*!

Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: Youre in love with her?
Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: [to himself] No one seems to have picked
  up on this. Its very strange.

Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: Whoa! Listen to what youre saying. Youre
  telling me that I was supposed to be sensitive to the possibility
  that a Catholic priest might have a crush on my secret girlfriend?

Anna Riley: I just called to see how the date went.
Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: Thats so funny. I had an impulse to call
  you last night but then I thought it might be too late.
Anna Riley: You shouldve. I was stuck here barking at Los Angeles.
  So what did you wear?
Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: What? Im not gonna tell you what I wore
  on my date. Why would I do that?
Anna Riley: I want to get an image of a young rabbi on the prowl,
  whats your game man?
Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: Ok. Navy blue pin stripe suit.
Anna Riley: Mmm.
Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: Navy blue button down shirt.
Anna Riley: Good colour for your eyes. Shoes?
Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: Black. Kenneth Cole. Leather.
Anna Riley: Size?
Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: Big.
Anna Riley: Ow!
Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: You wanna hear about the special knot in
  my tie?
Anna Riley: Baby no, we gotta keep room for dessert. Dont give up
  hope ok?
Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: Ill keep it alive.
Anna Riley: Good bye Mr Sharp Dressed Man.

Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: You know you better not lie in here man,
  this is the big room! God does not look favorably on you. He has a
  tendancy to throw... lightning bolts at things... At liars!

Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: Oh, God, please let this be painless.
Ali Decker: [opens door] Hi! Right on time! I like that in a rabbi!

Don: [in an thick Philipino accent] How you guys doing? Im Don. Don,
  rhyme with flon. You have any question?
Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: Yes, Yes indeed Don we do. Is this a
  good machine?
Don: Yeah it is good if you cheap bastard. No jus... jus doing comedy
  with you. That one is okay. But if you are serious about Kar-oke.
Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: Oh we are!
Don: Okay then... there is only one model for you. The AUDIO 2000.
  This baby got the 16-bit dual D/A converter, 3 beam checking,
  digital key controller, so you can change the pitch if your voice
  sucks. But I dont need that.
Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: Thats nice. How much?
Don: Price is not important
Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: No price is very important, actually.
Don: Okay you got me; take me away. Okay its a lil bit expensive.
  But let me tell you, its worth it. When you sing to your
  girlfriend.
Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: Uh huh.
Don: And her heart thweaaaatt-boom! fall down on the floor, you say
  thank you Don.
Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: How much does it cost, exactly?
Don: [Motions them over and begins to talk quietly in an American
  accent] Alright, heres the real deal. Um, I dont usually do this
  but you guys look like cool guys, and uh, I got a little piece of
  ass last night, so I am feeling extra generous.
Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: Oh!
Don: Im gonna let you guys have it for ,300.
Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: ,300?
Don: Final offer.
Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: uh, excuse me, I just got a little warm.
[unzips jacket to reveal priests collar]
Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: My friend, he gets, he gets a little warm.
Don: [Sees priests collar] Oh man! What is that? What is... get out
  of here with that. Is that real?
Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: Oh yeah!

Anna Riley: I cant Wednesday night, I have a class.
Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: Ok, what are these classes already?
Anna Riley: I like to try new things sometimes, I dont wanna talk
  about it, I get embarrassed.
Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: You shouldnt be embarrassed. A lot of
  people take... aikido.
Anna Riley: No.
Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: Line dancing.
Anna Riley: Not even close.
Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: Whats the big deal, why?
Anna Riley: Jake.
Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: Feng Shui?
Anna Riley: No.
Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: You shouldnt be embarrassed if its Feng
  Shui. You know what? Dont tell me, I like the whole mysterioso
  thing, it turns me on.

Anna Riley: [Brian dials Annas phone number and hears her voice on
  the answering machine] Hi, this is Anna. Only three people have
  this number. If youre not one of them, leave me alone.

Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: The truth is, I dont really learn that
  much about your faith by asking questions like that... because
  those arent really questions about faith, those are questions
  about religion. And its very important to understand the
  difference between religion and faith. Because faith is not about
  having the right answers. Faith is a feeling. Faith is a hunch,
  really. Its a hunch that there is something bigger connecting it
  all... connecting us all together. And that feeling, that hunch, is
  God. And coming here tonight, on your Sunday evening... to connect
  with that feeling, that is an act of faith. And so all I have to do
  is look around the room at this packed church... to know that were
  doing pretty well as a community. Even if all of you failed my pop
  quiz miserably.

Anna Riley: Im gonna miss a lot of things around here. Like Lens
  endless Howard Stern recountings and of course my Romeo Casanova
  boy across the way.
Len: [someone in Casanovas office starts waving a sign] Hey, what is
  that?
Anna Riley: I dont know.
[looks through binoculars]
Debbie: Who is that?
Anna Riley: Its Jake.
Debbie: Whats he doing?
Anna Riley: [Hes miming "pick up the phone", she picks up the phone]
  Anna Riley.
Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: Hi, Anna? Can, can you see me? Cause I
  cant see you, Im just looking at a reflection of myself.
Anna Riley: Jake, I can see you, what are you doing?
Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: Ive been trying to get up there for the
  last hour but its like the frigging Pentagon with that T-Bone guy.
  So I decided to try Mr Casanova here - by the way his name is
  Howard. Anyway Ive been doing some thinking and there are some
  things Id like to talk to you about. [Debbie switches to
  speakerphone] Am I on speakerphone?
All Annas colleagues: Hi, Jake!
Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: Hi. Hi. Can I talk to you alone? Can I
  come over there?
Anna Riley: No, I think now would be a good time.
Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: Ok. Well, Ive been thinking about some of
  the things you said and you were right.
Anna Riley: About what?
Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: About us. About me, especially about me.
Anna Riley: So what are you saying Jake?
All Annas colleagues: Yeah, what are you saying Jake?
Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: Im saying I love you. Im in love with
  you. And Ive been waiting my whole life for someone like you and
  Im not gonna let you go. Please dont go. Anna, Im not gonna let
  you go. [pause] Could we hang up the phone maybe.

Anna Riley: People should have to qualify to go out with you. Youre
  too precious to be on the open market.

Anna Riley: [to Jake] So whats your chick situation?
Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: Oh, dont ask, its not a good story.
Anna Riley: Why?
Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: Because his whole congregation is trying
  to set him up and it makes him very uncomfortable.
Anna Riley: Whats wrong with that?
Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: Theres a reason pandas dont mate in
  captivity.
Anna Riley: What does that mean?
Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: It means these mothers keep making these
  dates for me that I cant refuse. Theyre very intimidating,
  theyre like the Kosher Nostra. Theyre little women but very
  determined.
Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: I think you get a little melodramatic
  about this, dont you think?
Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: Oh, yeah? Today one of them faxed me her
  daughters resume.
Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: Let me see that. Ali Decker.
Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: Look at the bottom.
Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: Oh. She has a skills section.
Anna Riley: Yes?
Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: Oh, you win. She put jogging as a skill.
Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: See? She doesnt even know the difference
  between a hobby and a skill.
Anna Riley: All right, so maybe shes a skilled jogger.
Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: I have to go on a date with this woman.
  Why cant I just say no?
Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: I dont know, why cant you?
Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: I cant alienate these women, I need body
  count at the temple.

Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: I feel like Im on some bad new Aaron
  Spelling show - "Melrose Priest."

Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: [to Anna] Excuse me if I say that I
  dont think Im the best person to offer objective advice on this
  particular confession.

[last lines]
Hyacinth: Gone!
Richard: He must have gone inside.
Hyacinth: Inside! Oh, I think Id rather hed joined the Legion.
  Richard, it may be necessary socially to introduce him as your
  father.
Richard: My father!
Hyacinth: Just for this evening of course. I couldnt bear to lose
  Daddy for any longer than that.
Richard: But, Hyacinth -
Hyacinth: No, promise me that you will be kind to Daddy while hes
  yours, wont you. I hope its all flowers and sunsets. I rely on
  you, Richard, to keep Daddy away from any nudes.