Movie Quotes for Date+Movie

Frank Jones: Before you set the wedding date, I wanted to meet your
  parents... because frankly, Funkyerdoder, I dont know much about
  you.
Grant Funkyerdoder: I understand, home boy.
Frank Jones: [looks at camera, turns toward Grant] Ill be...
  watching you. If you do anything to corrupt my daughter...
Grant Funkyerdoder: Youll bring me down to Chinatown?
Frank Jones: Chinatown? Ill take your bitch ass to 134th street...
  bust you in the head with a pipe.

Linda Jones: So Grant ever knock any one up?
Julia Jones: Mom!
Linda Jones: What? I want many grandchildren and how do I know if
  hes shooting blanks or not

Andy: Ill give you two grand if I can fuck you in the ass.

Napoleon: Idiot! Hell no I wont marry you! Gosh! What would you do
  if you were in a situation like this? Gosh! Gosh! Gosh! Gosh!
  [Starts dancing]

Linda Jones: So... Is it Harry?
Bernie Fockyerdoder: Is what hairy?
Linda Jones: Your name...
Bernie Fockyerdoder: No, actually its Bernie.
Roz Fockyerdoder: Oh, but it is hairy... [picks up carrot] I mean
  picture this with 4 pounds of hair.

Grant Funkyerdoder: [faking an orgasm] OH, yeah. Oh yeah thats it!
  Yes! Yes, yes, yes. Y-y-y-y-yes! Whew... yes.
Waitress: So youre saying you want the porkchops?
Julia Jones: Ill have what hes having.

Julia Jones: How will I ever measure up to that?
[hands Hitch a sexy photo of Andy]
Hitch: You cant. Shes fine as hell! I would tear that shit up!

Frank Jones: So, Grant, how do you pronounce your last name?
Grant Funkyerdoder: Exactly how its spelled.
  F-U-N-K-Y-E-R-D-O-D-E-R.
[pause]
Frank Jones: Funkyerdoder?

Julia Jones: Well, we want a traditional wedding. Something simple
  yet elegent.
Jell-O: Yo! I know exactly the place. Muy romantico! [Holds up a
  picture of a Taco Bell]
Jell-O: Taco Butt. Think outside my buns.
Julia Jones: Its not quite what we had in mind.

[Grant walks in with Jinxers on the toilet]
Grant Funkyerdoder: [shocked] Oh... Sorry
Frank Jones: Thats Jinxers! I taught him how to do that.

Frank Jones: Put some hummus on it

[Julia desperately needs a makeover]
Julia Jones: I heard you were the best.
Hitch: Youre goddamn right Im the best! Look at all the couples Im
  responsible for. You got Brad and Jen, Jessica and Nick, Ben and
  Jen, Ben and Jen, Ben and Matt, Kobe and Shaq, Ellen and Anne.
  Yeah, I do them too.

Roz Fockyerdoder: [gives Julia the present after the wedding] Its a
  vaginal thermometer. Its been in our family for generations.
Linda Jones: It lets you know when your ovulating.
Roz Fockyerdoder: And if you wanna keep it a lucky one, dont ever
  wash it.

Michael Jackson Look-A-Like: Cmon! Its just a little Jesus juice!

Old Cat Woman: [watching through the window] She was faking it, but I
  wasnt.

Andy: Grant told me you were pretty, but he didnt mention that you
  were flat-chested. How cute.

Julia Jones: [after sex with Grant] Thant was... Amazing!
Old Woman: [Old woman in window appears] It sure was... [she starts
  caressing her body] Oh... OHHH... OHHHHHHH... She faked it Grant
  [Grant looks at Julia, Old woman whispers;] But I didnt... Meow...
  Meow... Purrrrrrr... Purrrrrr

Frank Jones: I was wrong about Grant. Hes really a nice guy. He even
  liked you when you were butt-ugly.
Julia Jones: How do you...?
Frank Jones: I saw it in your flashback.

Grant Funkyerdoder: [voice-over reading his message to Julia] If you
  still love me the way I love you, meet me where Meg Ryan met Tom
  Hanks.
Julia Jones: On the internet?
Grant Funkyerdoder: [still in voice-over] No, not in "Youve Got
  Mail," in "Sleepless in Seattle."

Julia Jones: You had me at hello.
Grant Funkyerdoder: Im just a girl. Standing in front of a boy.
  Asking him to love her.

Biker: I love puerto rican men, theyre spicy!

Nicky: Thinking about the honeymoon makes my sack all quivery and
  shit.

Andy: [to Grant] Choose me. Marry me!

Galdalf: [Gandlaf is hit in the crotch] My precious!

Frank Jones: [as Jinxers is humping Franks dead mother] I didnt
  teach him how to do that!