Movie Quotes for Ace+Ventura:+When+Nature+Calls

Ace: Thats a lovely wrap youre wearing! Perhaps I could buy you
  some fluffy new slippers, made from the heads of innocent and
  defenseless baby seals!
The Monopoly Guy: Who is this ghastly man?
Ace: Ace Ventura, Pet Detective. And YOU must be the Monopoly guy!
  Hey. [whispering] Thanks for the free parking.
Pompous woman: Another ACTIVIST, McGuire.
The Monopoly Guy: Activist, yes [snobby laugh]
Ace: [imitating him] activist, yes, mhmhmhmhmhmhmhmhm!
Pompous woman: Mr. Ventura, there is nothing wrong with enjoying the
  fruits of nature. You should try it sometime.
Ace: Alrighty then! [smacks man in the face which knocks him
  unconscious, drapes him over his shoulders and begins to sing and
  dance exotically] [shakes man] Do not pass go! Do not collect 0!
  [hands back man to pompous woman] Its lovely, but I fancy myself
  in autumn!

Fulton Greenwall: My name is Fulton Greenwall, and I am looking for
  an Ace Ventura.
Ashram Monk: No man here carries with him a label.
Fulton Greenwall: Oh yes, no names. How silly of me. Well, um, hes
  an American.
Ashram Monk: We are all children of the same life force.
Fulton Greenwall: Yes of course we are. [thinks] He bends over and
  speaks from his rear.
Ashram Monk: Oh him. Right this way...

Fulton Greenwall: Bumbawe Atuna... Bumbawe Atuna...
Ace: Hi there. Nice to see ya. Bumblebee tuna. Bumblebee tuna!
  [quickly turns to face one of the natives] Ace Ventura, Pet
  Detective! How are you this afternoon? Alrighty Then! [turns to
  another] Excuse me, your balls are showing. [thumbs-up] Bumblebee
  tuna.

Ace: Youre an extreme workaholic. You recently returned from a short
  trip to Gotan in northern Africa, and upon your return you more
  than likely took a nasty spill because of some... shotty masonry
  work.
Vincent Cadby: Very impressive... might I ask, how?
Ace: Surely... The abrasion on the palm of your left hand is the type
  one sustains breaking a fall of 3 to 5 feet, the small reminisce of
  plaster on the tip of your shoe pointed to a careless mason beam,
  the culprit, your new watch, a quality forgery of a cartieah was
  most likely purchased through the north African black market known
  to reside in Gotan. [Ace gasps for air]
Vincent Cadby: And my work habits?
Ace: Yes, a workaholic, the urine stain on your pants would signify
  that youre a single shake man, far to busy for a follow up jiggle.

Ace: Ill have you know that I have the reflexes of a cat and the
  speed of a mongoose. Throw it. I DARE YOU!

Ace: It is the mucus that binds us.

Ace: Friends, rodents, quadrupeds, lend me your rears!
[yodels]

[spying, sitting in a mechanical rhino]
Ace: Pretty hot in these rhinos...

[Ace is chasing the villain with a monster truck]
Ace: Nobody wants to play with me!

Ace: Guano bowls! Collect the whole set...

Ace: [the Tiny Warrior shrieks in Wachutu] What did he just say?
Fulton Greenwall: I *think* he said, shes not a virgin.
Ace: [pause] They can *tell* that?

[Wachootoo Chief exposes his rotten teeth while screaming at Ace]
Ace: You know, gingivitis is the number one cause of all tooth decay.

Ace: Mmm, this fruit paste is delicious. And the pottery is lovely.
Ouda: Its made from guano.
Ace: Guano! Whys that sounding so familiar?
[Ace starts licking the remains of the fruit paste from the bottom of
  the bowl]
Fulton Greenwall: Bat droppings.
[Ace drops the bowl, spitting the remains of the paste and wiping off
  his tongue]
Fulton Greenwall: Guano is their main raw material, theyre using it
  to made a lot of things in the village.
Ace: Yummie!

Ace: Just what sort of bat are we talking about?
Fulton Greenwall: The Great White Bat, of course.
Ace: Corpus Kilochiroptera?
Fulton Greenwall: Yes, but to the natives... Shikaka. [the Wachati
  chief and his son bow upon hearing the name]
Ace: Shikaka... [they bow again] Shikaka! [they bow again] Shikasha!
  [they begin to bow, but stop] Ohhh! Shishkebab. [they almost bow]
  Shawshank Redemption. [they almost bow] ShicaaaaGO! [the chief
  bows] Youre outta there! Go on, I gotcha, youre out. [the
  confused chief exits the hut]

Ace: Where iz zhe bat?

Ace: [parking] Like a glove!

Ace: Take that, you winged spawn of Satan!

Ace: [while being arrested by Hitu] Hey! What are you? H. R. Shove n
  Stuff?

Ace: [smiling nervously] Well, everything here seems good! Big load
  off my mind, aw God. You can speculate all you want, but unless you
  check it out for yourself, you never know! [face quickly turns
  serious] We should head back now.
Fulton Greenwall: Dont you think you should investigate?
Ace: Theres no reason to go in there. Ever. I sense it as a holy
  man.
Fulton Greenwall: But I thought you said...
Ace: Its DARK! I could fall into a precipice!
Ouda: [hands him a torch] Here! Take this
Ace: Spank you, Helpy Helperton.

Ace: Greenwall, hit the lights! The switch on the wall beside you! Go
  for it!... Flick it, QUICK!
[Greenwall does nothing]
Ace: Allrighty, then! Shall we go to jail? [clicks teeth at Cadby]

Ace: Of course. How sssselfish of me. Lets do all the things that
  YOU wanna do.

Ace: Can you feel it, Captain Compost?

Fulton Greenwall: Ace, the Wachutus are a blood-thirsty, savage
  tribe. If they catch you, they will show no mercy!
Ace: Worry not, my brother. For I will be as a fly on the wall - a
  grain of salt in the ocean. I will move amongst them like a
  transparent... *thing*.

[with Greenwall at top of a huge set of stairs leading to a temple]
Ace: Ill meet you at the bottom. Theres still one more thing I must
  do before I go...
[close-up of slinky going down temple stairs]
Ace: Isnt this incredible? ITS GONNA BE SOME KIND OF A RECORD!
  Everyone loves a Slinky, you gotta get a Slinky, Slinky, Slinky, go
  Slinky go!
[runs down to see Slinky stopped on second last step]
Ace: Awww man! Can you believe it. It was right there!

Ace: If you were me, then Id be you, and Id use *your* body to get
  to the top. You cant stop me no matter who you are!