Movie Quotes for 8+Simple+Rules+For+Doing+My+Son

Carter Tibbits: Paul, I thought my crew chief made everything clear.
  I cant trust a man who sneaks in my bedroom while Im showering
  and plays with my stuff. Im afraid youre dead to me, Paul. Just
  like a certain ex-wife whose number I will not mention. [Pats Rory
  on the shoulder] Howre you doin there, son?
Paul Hennessy: Now, Carter, I just want to set everything straight,
  and then youll never hear from me again. I know that the book deal
  is dead. Is it? [Carter stares at him] I mean, right. No, no,
  thats neither here nor there, its just... that I, I want you to
  know that I wasnt playing with your stuff. [he stares at Rory,
  Rory shakes his head "no". He goes back to looking at Carter] My
  son took something. I was putting it back.
Carter Tibbits: Well, isnt that somethin. Blaming it on your own
  son!
Cody Grant: [From the other room, VO] Pitiful!
Paul Hennessy: No, no, no, no, no, no, no! Wait! If you rewound the
  tape...
Carter Tibbits: Youre not half the man that wife number three turned
  out to... [Stops himself, realizing hes said too much] I think you
  know where the door is.
Rory Hennessy: [He and Paul go towards the door, but Rory turns back
  for a moment] Mr. Tibbits, I stole that picture of you and movie
  legend, Paul Newman. My dad was just putting it back. I took it for
  a joke.
Carter Tibbits: Theres nothin funny about stealin, son.
Rory Hennessy: I know. Its just, my dads so funny, and I was trying
  to be funny.
Paul Hennessy: Rory, whyd you take it so far?
Rory Hennessy: Because I wanted to impress you!
Carter Tibbits: Whoa! Whoa! Stealing to impress your father! You
  know, Rory, I run a program for at-risk youth, such as yourself...
Paul Hennessy: Hes not at-risk!
Carter Tibbits: If I had a dime for every parent who ever said
  that...

Cate: Oh, my god. What is he doing?
Bridget: I think hes hamsterbating.

Bridget: Mom, do you have any pictures of Dad?
Cate: Well of course honey, whatever you want
Bridget: Okay well I need 25 from various stages of his life... For
  my wallet
Cate: What are you up to?
Bridget: Nothing! Why are you so suspicious!

C.J.: Do you know what the C In C.J stands for? Its Cory. Hi, Rory,
  its your cousin Cory, what you doing?
Rory: Watching you make a complete ass out of yourself.

[after tricking C.J. into driving to Canada for no reason]
Jim: The pain in my hip is still here, but the pain in my ass is in
  Canada!

Kerry: Yeah, because that’s your conundrum.
Kyle: Look Mrs. H it’s been in my wallet for a year now and I haven’t
  used it I swear.

Cate Hennessy: [reading Pauls last article] Okay readers, today
  were having a little pop quiz, its multiple choice, so sharpen
  your number 2 pencils and put your thinking caps on. Ready? Heres
  a quote: "Dad, youre an idiot." Now, contestants, this was said to
  me because of which of the following transgressions? A: Coming to
  the breakfast table wearing pajamas and black socks? B: Asking my
  oldest daughter if that guy I saw her talking to yesterday at
  school was her boyfriend? C: Referring to rapper Fiddy Cent as
  "Fifty Cents"? or D: Entering the room? Okay, pencils down.
  Actually it was a trick question. The answer is all of the above.
  Now do you know how many times I called my father an idiot? Zero.
  Why? Because I feared him. Back then we didnt share our deep
  personal feelings, our deepest conversations usually revolved
  around the tigers bull pen. But my kids, I cant get them to shut
  up! Theres not a feeling that my kids are afraid to express over
  and over and over. And my wife reassures me this is a good thing
  over and over and over, and shes always right. So do I wish that
  my kids feared me? Well my house would be quieter, and Id spend a
  lot less time in the bathroom, but no. Because I know that whenever
  they insult me whether its a "Youre an idiot," "Youre a geek,"
  or an "I hate you," an "I love you" isnt far behind. And its the
  knowledge that my wife and kids love me that makes it safe for me
  to wear pajamas and black socks to the breakfast table.

Kerry: So, thats all you can think of to be thankful for? That you
  got the good hair?
Bridget: No, I said its what Im most thankful for.
Jim: And, what about you, Cate? What are you thankful for?
Cate: Well, Im thankful for my wonderful children, and for my great
  dad and my mom even though she couldnt be here.
Jim: Thats what Im thankful for.

Bridget: Mom, please dont ground me.
Cate: I wont.
Bridget: Oh wow it really works. Mom, can I have twenty dollars.
Cate: No.
Cate: Youre not grounded. Youre going to help me with the gardening
  and cleaning the rain gutters.
Bridget: But what about my nails?
Cate: I guess youll have to cut them back.
Bridget: [to CJ] This is all your fault.
Bridget: I figured out what CJ stands for... Benedict Arnold.
C.J.: That would hurt if it made any sense.

Rory: Dad? Its happening to me again. My body is doing strange and
  beautiful things. Im so confused.

Cate: [reading Pauls last article] Okay readers, today were having
  a little pop quiz, its multiple choice, so sharpen your number 2
  pencils and put your thinking caps on. Ready? Heres a quote: "Dad,
  youre an idiot." Now, contestants, this was said to me because of
  which of the following transgressions? A: Coming to the breakfast
  table wearing pajamas and black socks? B: Asking my oldest daughter
  if that guy I saw her talking to yesterday at school was her
  boyfriend? C: Referring to rapper Fiddy Cent as "Fifty Cents"? or
  D: Entering the room? Okay, pencils down. Actually it was a trick
  question. The answer is all of the above. Now do you know how many
  times I called my father an idiot? Zero. Why? Because I feared him.
  Back then we didnt share our deep personal feelings, our deepest
  conversations usually revolved around the tigers bull pen. But my
  kids, I cant get them to shut up! Theres not a feeling that my
  kids are afraid to express over and over and over. And my wife
  reassures me this is a good thing over and over and over, and shes
  always right. So do I wish that my kids feared me? Well my house
  would be quieter, and Id spend a lot less time in the bathroom,
  but no. Because I know that whenever they insult me whether its a
  "Youre an idiot," "Youre a geek," or an "I hate you," an "I love
  you" isnt far behind. And its the knowledge that my wife and kids
  love me that makes it safe for me to wear pajamas and black socks
  to the breakfast table.

C.J. Barnes: [trying to impress Sissy] Hey, er, you know, the "C" in
  CJ stands for Cory. So, er, hey Rory! Its your cousin Cory. What
  you doing?
Rory Hennessy: Watching you make an ass of yourself.

Kerry: Your oldest daughter has been in the bathroom for, like, an
  hour.
Paul: An hour? What is she doing in there?
Kerry: Well we can rule out reading.

Paul: [Bridget storms into the house very upset] So, is my little
  girl a cheerleader?
Kerry: [enters doing a high kick and waving pom-poms] Yes, she is!

Bridget: [watching Extreme Makeover] Oh my God Jan, youre pretty
  now!

Kerry: [after hearing Bridget was elected Student President] Thats
  whats wrong with democracy.
Jim: Hey. I went to war for democracy.
Rory: We know you did. Look at Korea now. You kicked ass!

Paul: One more smart remark like that, young lady, and there will be
  serious consequences.
Kerry: My life is a consequence.

Rory: I should go up to my room and take a long look at myself. In
  the mirror. To see what my butt looks like when Im dancing!
  [shakes shoulders]

Paul: Kyle, just so you know, if you ever pull into my driveway and
  honk, you better be delivering a package because youre sure as
  hell not picking anything up.

Bridget: Kerry is that my earrings?
Kerry: No.
Bridget: Oh my god, first you steal my popularity, then my earrings!
Kerry: You forgot your boyfriend.

Paul: Would somebody like to listen to my announcement?
Kerry: Switched at birth. Please say I was switched at birth.

Ed Gibb: You show me hospitality.
Jim: Out of my chair!

Kerry: And dont tell Bridget this, but Im really scared.
Jim: Oh, so youre scared about being away from your parents? You
  know, when I was a teenager going on my first holiday without my
  parents, I was scared.
Kerry: Where did you go?
Jim: The Korean War.

Paul: Honey, you can do anything as long as you never root for Ohio
  State.

C.J. Barnes: [Bad French Accent] What we have here, Cate, is a Trash
  & Dash.
Cate Hennessy: Whats that?
C.J. Barnes: [Bad French Accent] The coolest kids in school throw a
  party. They rent a fancy hotel room, trash the place, then dash out
  the door without paying. Trash & Dash.
Cate Hennessy: You used to do that?
C.J. Barnes: I said the cool kids! I asked all my friends about it,
  theyre like "no! Its a myth!"
Cate Hennessy: You know, that actually makes sense. The hotels, the
  beauty salon, the cool kids didnt invite you. Thanks, C. J.
C.J. Barnes: [Bad French Accent] You have to admit, Cate, the worlds
  a much more interesting place with me around.
Cate Hennessy: C. J., why are you talking like that?
C.J. Barnes: I dont know.