Movie Quotes for 60+Unit+Bruise

Jonas Snake Doctor Blane: Ron here went from best shot in the Unit
  to best gunsmith in the world.
Ron Cheals: From ladies man to ladys maid, hoo-ah.

Ricky Tahoe: Can we cut to the chase?
Danny Tripp: Yeah! If it were up to me, wed even cut the chase.
Ricky Tahoe: What problem do the two of you have with the two of us
  and when is it gonna stop?
Danny Tripp: Whoa... whoa. First of all, Matt and I are two separate
  people. Dont paint us with the same brush. Matt has a problem with
  you. Im completely indifferent towards you.
Ricky Tahoe: Was that supposed to be funny?
Danny Tripp: Guys, Ive gotta get back in there.
Ricky Tahoe: Danny...
Danny Tripp: Bill Maher. He made a politically incorrect observation
  on his own show, helpfully titled Politically Incorrect, and the
  sky fell down on him. Matt was one of the first guys to take up his
  side and so the sky fell down on him. And when AP asked you for a
  reaction quote, do you remember what you said?
Ricky Tahoe: It was more than four years ago, Danny. I have no
  earthly idea what I said.
Ron Oswald: I do.
Ricky Tahoe: Ron...
Ron Oswald: You said, "Matt Albie certainly doesnt speak for the
  cast, crew and staff of Studio 60, whose thoughts and prayers are
  with the brave men and women who lost their lives on September
  11th."
Danny Tripp: See? He got it word-for-word. Were Matts thoughts and
  prayers *not* with the brave men and women who lost their lives on
  September 11th?
Ricky Tahoe: It was 9/11! Everyone was out of their friggin minds,
  and by the way... Im the one pushing the Bush sketches!
Danny Tripp: Yeah, Id imagine now that the Presidents approval
  rating is seven guys in Tupelo, Mississippi, the water feels a
  little safer. Anyway, you asked the question, so...
Ricky Tahoe: And how long is this gonna go on?
Danny Tripp: Thats entirely up to him.
Ricky Tahoe: He needs us, and you know it too! Nobody can write
  ninety minutes of television every week by themselves. Hell be
  dead by his sixth show.
Danny Tripp: And when that happens, Im sure youll be ready to take
  his job.

Jack Rudolph: Theres gonna be a press conference at noon on Monday
  announcing that you two are running "Studio 60". I know I can count
  on you to answer questions in a way that doesnt embarass the
  National Broadcasting System. Will that be hard for you?
Matt Albie: I wouldnt think itd be hard for anybody, cause if you
  pointed a camera at two people masturbating itd be among the least
  embarassing things on the National Broadcasting System. Ill tell
  Blair to start working on the deal.
Jordan McDeere: Ive already got a dual masturbation show in active
  development, so...

Matt Albie: Are you people using the confidential information that
  Danny failed a drug test to force him into taking over Studio 60 to
  deflect attention from what happened on the air tonight?
Jack Rudolph: [long pause]... He failed a drug test?
Jordan McDeere: Yeah, actually Matt, I was the only one who knew
  about that. Shoulda trusted me a little, Danny.
Matt Albie: [to Danny] Sorry about that, that one was all me.
Danny Tripp: Yeah.
Matt Albie: [to everyone] Ironically, Im the one whos high as a
  paper kite right now, but legitimately. I had back surgery Tuesday.
  L5 S1, if that means anything to you. Stop talking now? Yeah, you
  bet.

[On the set of News 60]
Simon Stiles: Roseanne Barr is releasing an album for children. We
  dont have a joke here, we just mention this as a public service
  warning to parents.

Kevin Sack: I plan to press disciplinary actions.
Colonel Tom Ryan: And you were up there...
Kevin Sack: Checking his cover story.
Colonel Tom Ryan: And why?
Kevin Sack: To make sure...
Colonel Tom Ryan: To make sure that what, he held his water?
Kevin Sack: Thats right.
Colonel Tom Ryan: [pauses a moment] What have you got in your
  pockets? Empty em out.
Kevin Sack: Are you kidding?
Colonel Tom Ryan: No, empty em. [Kevin Sack reveals the contents of
  his pockets]
Colonel Tom Ryan: Wheres your body bag?
Kevin Sack: I dont have a body bag.
Colonel Tom Ryan: Exactly. But each soldier in the Unit carries his
  own body bag, and until you carry one you dont deserve to talk to
  my men about their code.They signed on to not exist, for them there
  is no legacy. These men die for each other, not for you, or for
  your boss. These men are warriors. You think you need to remind
  them about their codes of silence? They answer to a higher code,
  friend.
Kevin Sack: Lets keep this meeting on point. Your man attacked me.
Colonel Tom Ryan: A seriously wounded man on his back attacked YOU?
Kevin Sack: Yes.
Colonel Tom Ryan: Well he may have dinged your ear but Ill break
  your jaw. Now get the hell off my base.

[Special Unit 2 is trying to find a revived mummy]
Nick OMalley: How do we kill em?
Sean Ratham: Cant killem, OMalley, cause theyre already dead.
Nick OMalley: You know what I mean, can we shoot em?
Sean Ratham: No internal organs to disrupt.
Nick OMalley: Ah, well light it on fire.
Sean Ratham: Not internally flammable.
Nick OMalley: Drown em?
Benson: How many more ways of hurting things can you think of?

Benson: How does Special Unit 2 know Im not going to tell everybody
  the whole thing?
Nick OMalley: The captain only picks people he feels he can trust.
  But transfers are not a problem for most people.
Benson: Why, do they all get killed?
Nick OMalley: Well, one guy lived but he just sits in a room and
  talks to himself.

[offers a bucket of licorice]
Captain Donald Cragen: You cant trust the computers. They get backed
  up and dont input the releases.
Detective Olivia Benson: Thats why I talked to the watch captain and
  had then check personally to see if Spicers still there.
Captain Donald Cragen: Well, why is this ours?
Detective Elliot Stabler: Doer sliced off the vics unit.
[spits out licorice]

Detective John Munch: Dodge ball? Havent they outlawed this barbaric
  practice yet? I literally weighed 98 pounds. I can still hear them,
  Break the pencil! I was a walking bruise.

[first lines]
Opening Announcer: [voiceover] In the Criminal Justice System,
  sexually based offenses are considered especially heinous. In New
  York City, the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious
  felonies are members of an elite squad known as the Special Victims
  Unit. These are their stories.

[opening narration]
Narrator: In the criminal justice system, sexually based offenses are
  considered especially heinous. In New York City, the dedicated
  detectives who investigate these vicious felonies are members of an
  elite squad known as the Special Victims Unit. These are their
  stories.

Angel Grace: I may be 60 feet, but Im still all woman.

Simon Stiles: Im livin in a new house now. You havent been there.
  Im up in the hills, near the Hollywood sign, and from my pool I
  can see South Central. I saw a murder up close when I was fifteen.
  Three guys shot a friend of ours bout ten times in the chest with
  38s. You know it doesnt look like it does in the movies. Ask a
  homicide cop. It aint poetry in motion, its... everything inside
  comes outta every part of you. Anyway, we spent the next day
  planning how we were gonna kill these guys who did it. And when it
  was time, the leader of the guys I ran with, a guy named Donnell,
  turned to me and said, "Youre not going." I said, "Like hell Im
  not goin." He said, "Youre not going. You go, and Ill kill you
  first." Those guys are all doing consecutive life sentences, no
  chance of parole. They werent charged as juveniles. Donnell is in
  a Federal Maximum Security Facility in Minnesota. Every month, I
  send him the only things Im allowed to send him, cigarettes and
  stamps. I can see it from my pool, Matt. And if I dont reach in
  there and grab as many of them as I can carry, every day, then I
  deserve get sent right back to it.

Cal Shanley: A transformers out, something fell on a power line.
Danny Tripp: Are they fixing it?
Cal Shanley: In a manner of speaking.
Danny Tripp: What does that mean?
Cal Shanley: They dont know how to fix it.
Danny Tripp: [pause] How much do I want to know about this?
Cal Shanley: As little as possible.

Matt Albie: Im Homophobic in the way that makes sense.

Danny Tripp: Ive been married twice before, and Im a recovering
  cocaine addict, and I know thats no womans dream of a man, or a
  father. Nonetheless, I believe Im falling in love with you. If you
  want to run, I understand, but you better get a good head start
  because Im coming for you, Jordan

Tom Jeter: Arent you, like, a hundred years old?
Simon Stiles: Arent you only marginally talented?

[the power goes out in the studio during rehearsal of a sketch called
  "Science, Schmience"]
Matt Albie: Harriet, you say a word, any word at all about God not
  liking to be mocked...
Harriet Hayes: [quoting Holly Hunter in "Broadcast News"] You know
  what? I think *youre* the Devil!

Matt Albie: Thank you... GOD
Harriet Hayes: I HEARD THAT!... Its me jello-head.
Matt Albie: They rescued the guys.
Harriet Hayes: I just heard... Jordans ok!
Matt Albie: I know...
Harriet Hayes: Have you been getting high since our fight at the
  Catholics dinner?
Matt Albie: Yeah...
Harriet Hayes: AND YOU KEPT THAT FROM ME! slaps Matt hard
Matt Albie: When youre high you keep if from everyone... OWWWW!
Harriet Hayes: Not from me!... Im the one you never keep things
  from. Never from me... Im the one, Matthew.
Matt Albie: Ok Harriet... I love you.

Jonas Snake Doctor Blane: How do I make my living. I do not not
  make cornflakes for a living. I make my living at the risk of my
  life letting the scum of the earth shoot at me. Thats why my
  bosses pay me.

Cal Shanley: Suzanne, tell your guys to put tarps over everything.
  The last time we had a wrap party in the studio we had to shut down
  for two weeks while we replaced the studio.
Jordan McDeere: Cal!
Cal Shanley: Jordan.
Jordan McDeere: Great show!
Cal Shanley: Thanks
Jordan McDeere: Youre great!
Cal Shanley: Thank you again.
Jordan McDeere: Ive had a couple of glasses of wine.
Cal Shanley: No one would ever know
Jordan McDeere: I just bought my first show.
Cal Shanley: We heard, congratulations!
Jordan McDeere: Its a one hour drama about the United Nations.
Cal Shanley: It cant miss.
Jordan McDeere: Im celebrating!
Cal Shanley: Well, enjoy the party.
Jordan McDeere: Im also hiding from Jack Rudolph. I didnt bid on a
  reality show he wanted, and then to add injury to...
Cal Shanley: Insult to injury.
Jordan McDeere: Insult to injury, Wilson White backed me and took
  Jacks legs out from under him, so Im hiding here tonight. This is
  like for me Supermans Dome of Pleasure.
Cal Shanley: Fortress of Solitude.
Jordan McDeere: Yes!
Cal Shanley: Well, enjoy yourself.
Jordan McDeere: I believe I will!
Jack Rudolph: [bursts through the doors] Guess whos in the hizzaayy!
Cal Shanley: SUZANNE! Tarps over everything!

Danny Tripp: Matt, you can get another director. You can get someone
  good.
Matt Albie: I dont want someone else. I want you.
Danny Tripp: The joke was "I dont want someone good, I want you."

Danny Tripp: Commit to it. Youre gonna feel a strong instinct to
  make it bigger. Fight that with everything you got. No comedian you
  admire has ever been afraid of silence.

Wes Mendell: Were eating worms for money. Who wants to screw my
  sister? Guys are getting killed in a war thats got theme music and
  a logo? That remote in your hands is a crack pipe. Oh, yeah, every
  once in a while we pretend to be appalled...
Jerry: [in the booth]
Jerry: Cal!
Cal Shanley: Im waiting for him to say something that isnt true.
Jerry: Who else in here knows how to do this?
Cal Shanley: Dont talk to my control room!
Jerry: Get him off!
Lilly: [aside] You have two kids in school.
Cal Shanley: What?
Jerry: She said you have two kids in private school whose father is
  about five seconds away from never working again.
Wes Mendell: Americas broadcasters have turned into pornographers.
  Its not even good pornography! Its just this side of snuff films.
  And friends, thats whats next.
Lilly: Cal, come on...
Wes Mendell: ...And the two things that make them scared gutless are
  the FCC and every psycho religious cult that gets positively horny
  at the mention of a boycot. These are the people theyre afraid
  of...
Cal Shanley: All right, stand by...
Wes Mendell: - feckless, off-the-chocks greed-filled whorehouse...
Jerry: There is is!
Wes Mendell: - this thoroughly unpatriotic motherf...
Cal Shanley: Cut in now!