Movie Quotes for 0-600-amor+Ya

Sidda: [about Connor] Dont you think its fishy that were not
  married yet? I mean, he started asking me the first year and I
  always resisted, dont you think thats fishy?
Teensy: [defensive] Why is that fishy?
Sidda: Because something must be wrong. Ive been hitting the snooze
  button on my biological clock for a long time. I mean, on paper it
  all works out, you saw him, who wouldnt wanna have babies with
  him? But every time I get right down to it, something stops me, it
  just stops.
Caro: And you dont have any idea why?
Sidda: Oh, I have an idea why. What if Im like her
[ViVi]
Sidda: , and I get into it and just...
Caro: [curiously] What?
Sidda: Beat the living daylights out of everybody and then run away!
Teensy: [surprised] Thats what you think happened?
Sidda: [angrily] What do mean, "think", Teensy? I was there. This
  isnt some goddamn recovering memory, I wish I could forget it! You
  all have your little Ya Ya scars but that is nothing compared to
  what she left on me, and all Im saying is if I have even one
  little drop of that in me,i am better off alone! No child should
  have to find that out the hard way, and neither should Connor!
[tearfully]
Sidda: You know what fine She didnt want us? Fine! She should have
  just stayed gone. But then yall dragged her ass back here again
  and all she did was drink until we all went away!
[Angrily]
Sidda: I mean Yall should know, since you were the ones mixing the
  drinks!
[storms off]

Younger Vivi: Now our blood flows through eachother as is done for
  all eternity, loyal forever, we raise our voices in the words of
  Mumbo Gumbo... YA YA!

Little Vivi: [pouring something from a jar into a glass] This is the
  blood of our people, the wolf people, the alligator people, and the
  moon women from which we gain our strength to rule all worlds.
[Hands glass to Little Teensy. Little Teensy shakes head no]
Little Vivi: Its ok, Its just chocolate.
[Teensy drinks]
Little Vivi: Teensy Melissa Whitman: I declare you,
  Princess-Naked-As-A-Jaybird.
Little Teensy: [whispers] Hot Cha Cha!
Little Vivi: [turns to Little Caro] Caro Eliza Bennett: I declare
  you, Duchess Soaring Hawk.
[turns to Little Necie]
Little Vivi: Necie Rose Kelleher: I declare you, Countess Singing
  Cloud. And I: Viviane Joan Abbott, am hereby and forever Queen
  Dancing Creek.
[pulls a knife out of a shield]
Little Necie: Now, wait just one second yall... I dont think we
  should be cutting ourselves with that knife...
Little Vivi: Silence!
[nicks her hands with knife and passes it down to Little Teensy]
Little Vivi: Now our blood flows through each other as is done for
  all eternity, loyal forever, we raise our voices in the words of
  Mumbo Gumbo... YA-YA!
All little Ya-Yas: YA-YA!

Caro: [standing in the doorway of Siddas room] Ya know, I just dont
  understand those underwears up your ass crack, they dont cover up
  a GD THANG!

Connor: [about Sidda and Connors wedding] Vivi, its taken years to
  nail down a date. Shes always said, "Whats the rush, when things
  are so good?" I dont know what the hell shes so afraid of - its
  like shes always waiting for the bottom to drop out.
Vivi: You know why she thinks that, dont ya, honey? Because it did.
  It always did.

Vivi: [to herself, after Vivi discovers that Sidda is in Pecan Grove
  with the other Ya-Yas] Oh, what a surprise! Look what the
  backstabbing, traitorous cats dragged in! Oh, look who it is! All
  my old EX-FRIENDS! And the biological fruit of my womb... that
  rotted!

[first lines]
Foxy: [singing] Smile, darn ya, smile! / Smile, darn ya, smile! /
  Come on and smile, darn ya, smile!

[last lines]
Radio: Make life worthwhile! / Come on and smile, darn ya, smile!

George Carlin: Its nothing but a big stroke job in this country. The
  government strokes you every day of your life. Religion never stops
  stroking you. Big business gives you a good stroke. And its one
  big, transcontinental, cross-country, red, white and blue stroke
  job... Do you know what the national emblem for this country ought
  to be? The national emblem of this country ought to be Uncle Sam
  standing naked at attention saluting. And seated on a chair next to
  him, the Statue of Liberty jerking him off. That would be a good
  symbol for the United Strokes of America.

George Carlin: I think hes down there right now, screaming up at us.
  And I think hes in severe pain.

George Carlin: Leadership camp? Isnt that where Hitler went?

[during his bit about "child worship"]
George Carlin: Isnt this really just a sophisticated form of child
  abuse?
[laughter and applause]
George Carlin: And speaking of that, speaking of child abuse, next
  up: GRADE SCHOOL! Grade school, where he wont be allowed to play
  tag because it encourages victimization.
[laughter]
George Carlin: And he wont be allowed to play dodgeball because its
  exclusionary, and it promotes aggression. Standing around is still
  okay.
[laughter]
George Carlin: Standing around is still permitted, but it wont be
  for long, because sooner or later some kid is going to be standing
  around and his foot will fall asleep, and his parents will sue the
  school, and it will be goodbye fucking standing around!
[laughter]

[talking about George W. Bush]
George Carlin: I call him Governor Bush because thats the only
  political office hes ever held legally.

George Carlin: Fuck Dr Phil. Dr Phil told me to express my feelings,
  so Im expressing them.

[first lines]
George Carlin: Id like to begin by saying fuck Lance Armstrong. Fuck
  him and his balls and his bicycles and his steroids and his yellow
  shirts and the dumb empty expression on his face. Im tired of that
  asshole. And while youre at it, fuck Tiger Woods too!

[about the phrase "children are our future"]
George Carlin: Children are not our future, and I can prove it with
  my usual, flawless logic.
[laughter]
George Carlin: Children cant be our future, because by the time the
  future arrives, they wont be children anymore, so BLOW ME!
[laughter]

George Carlin: Who would have thought that the manufacturing of
  sticks would be outsourced to China?

George Carlin: Im kinda like herpes, I just keep coming back.

George Carlin: Now, speaking of parents and speaking of bullshit, two
  ideas that arent always mutually exclusive, by the way, Id like
  to mention a special kind of bullshit that has taken hold in this
  country in the last thirty to forty years. Its a form of bullshit
  that really can only be called "child worship". Its child worship.
  Its this excessive devotion to children.
[laughter]
George Carlin: Im talking about todays professional parents, these
  obsessive diaper sniffers who are overscheduling and overmanaging
  their children and robbing them of their childhoods.
[applause]
George Carlin: Even the simple act of playing has been taken away
  from children, and put on mommys schedule in the form of "play
  dates". Something that should be spontaneous and free is now being
  rigidly planned. When does a kid ever get to sit in the yard with a
  stick anymore?
[laughter]
George Carlin: You know? Just sit there with a fucking stick. Do
  todays kids even know what a stick is?
[laughter]
George Carlin: You sit in the yard with a fucking stick... and you
  dig a fucking hole. You know?
[applause]
George Carlin: And you look at the hole, and you look at the stick...
  and you have a little fun. But kids dont have sticks anymore. I
  dont think there are any sticks left; I think theyve all be
  recalled because of lead paint!
[laughter]
George Carlin: Who would have thought that one day, the manufacturing
  of sticks would outsourced to China?

[debunking the belief of parents in heaven helping their living
  children]
George Carlin: Now, lets say that these four now grown children also
  die in accident at the same time. Just for the sake of argument.
[laughter]
George Carlin: Lets say theres an explosion at Thanksgiving dinner.
[laughter]

George Carlin: You remember my neighbor with the burns on 90 percent
  of her body? Well, she burned the other 10 percent now. She was
  lighting a fart and her bush caught fire!

[about the benefits of getting older]
George Carlin: The first one is, you never have to carry anything
  heavy ever again.
[laughter]
George Carlin: Everybody wants to help an old fuck. If youve got a
  big suitcase, or something like that, you know, you just kind of go
  like this a little bit...
[pantomimes tugging at a heavy suitcase]
George Carlin: And you say "Yeah, can you help me with this?" They
  say "Yeah, hey, how far are you going?" "Indianapolis."

George Carlin: Another nice thing about getting old is you can leave
  any social event early just by saying youre tired.
[laughter]
George Carlin: Works great with family members. Just turn to the
  person next to you and you say "Gee, Im getting tired, you know."
[as family member]
George Carlin: "Oh, youre tired? Come on, grandpas tired, grandpas
  going to bed." And someone else says "But its seven thirty in the
  morning!"
[laughter]
George Carlin: Theres always one asshole in the family. But the best
  thing about getting old is youre not responsible for remembering
  things anymore. Even important things; "But it was your daughters
  funeral!"
[laughter]
George Carlin: "I forgot!"
[laughter]
George Carlin: You can even make believe you have Alzheimers
  Disease. Thats a lot of fun. You look around the dining room table
  and you say "Who are you people and where is my horse?"
[laughter]
George Carlin: Then you stare at your eldest son and say "Agnes! I
  havent seen you since First Communion!"
[laughter]

[about phrases people use when someone dies]
George Carlin: "Im keeping him in my thoughts." Where? Where in your
  thoughts does he fit? In between "my ass hurts in this chair" and
  "lets fuck the waitress"?
[laughter]

George Carlin: But since the last time I might have seen some of you
  folks, I have had my seventieth birthday.
[applause]
George Carlin: Thank you very much. Thank you. Yeah, Im now seventy
  years old, and I like seventy. Uh... not as much as I liked
  sixty-nine.
[laughter]
George Carlin: Well, sixty-nine was always my favorite number. Now, I
  figure Im sixty-nine with one finger up my ass.
[laughter]